Investiture Achievement/Explorer/Making Friends
Participate in a panel discussion or skit on peer pressure and its role in your decision making.
This activity can be done during Sabbath School, during a club meeting, or anytime you and a few friends have some free time together. It's best to do this with a small group (3-8 people) so that everyone gets a chance to participate and no one is overwhelmed with making a "public performance." Small groups are also more conducive to drawing participation from shy people as it is a less threatening situation.
Try to make each scenario as realistic as possible. A completely unbelievable depiction of the situation or one that seems purely hypothetical is far less likely be recalled when the Pathfinder actually finds himself in a similar situation.
- The "classmate" who asks you to sell you marijuana may be one of the Pathfinder's close friends rather than some strange kid he's never spoken to before. Attach the name of a person he knows and likes to that classmate. Also, you might introduce other complicating factors such as the Pathfinder's special need for some extra money. When the Pathfinder refuses, try to convince him that it'll only be this one time. When that fails, add the threat of a hypothetical blackmail - I'd hate to see that picture of you playing in your kid sister's wading pool show up on Facebook tomorrow".
- Ask who the best friend is before letting the Pathfinder know the scenario of "your best friend asks you to try a cigarette." You may also wish to add that the person upon whom the Pathfinder has had a crush since the second grade is there watching and urging the Pathfinder to smoke.
- Make the party situation a little more desperate before revealing that the friend is drunk. For instance, "this friend is the only person there you know who can drive." Or perhaps "it's past your curfew and your Dad is going to kill you when you call him after he's gone to bed. He has to get up at 4:30 am tomorrow!" It is almost always the complicating factors that lead to poor judgment in situations like this.
While these examples come from the Temperance Honor, peer pressure could encourage a Pathfinder to do other silly, illegal or dangerous things. Consider peer pressure to lie, steal, disobey parents, have sex outside marriage, or many other inappropriate choices.
Consider also that positive peer pressure can be used to encourage good behavior. Choosing Godly friends, becoming part of groups like Pathfinders, and speaking up to encourage good choices around your friends will help you act on the positive side of peer pressure.
Fulfill requirements #1, #11, #12 and #14 of the Christian Grooming and Manners Honor.
1. What well-balanced combination of strengths did Jesus develop as a growing youth? (Luke 2:52)
|Luke 2:52 (NIV)|
|And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.|
This verse indicates that Jesus grew mentally (wisdom) as well as physically (stature). He also grew spiritually (in favor with God) and emotionally (in favor with men). These four aspects of personal growth are the focus of the Adventist education system as well as the Pathfinder program.
11. Know the importance of daily "soul-grooming" and of building a Christian character and why "belonging to Christ" makes a difference in the way you dress and act.
"Soul-grooming" is done through daily communion with God. Any relationship is built by communication, and we communicate with God through prayer and by reading His Word. It is best to start the day by talking to the Lord, asking Him to be with you through the day. Time spent praying over specific temptations you face will better prepare you to resist that temptation.
"Christian character" is demonstrated when you do the right thing even when it is difficult. Be in the practice of always telling the truth, and put the feelings of others ahead of your own desires. This will add compassion to your character.
Knowing that you belong to Christ will give you a sense of self-worth and confidence. After all, Christ died for you, so He must feel you were worth that sacrifice. Because He has forgiven you of your sins, you will want to treat His other children with love and respect. You will find yourself wanting to lead others to Him, and help them resist temptation.
People go through several important physiological changes during the pre-teen and teen years. They find that their sexual desires begin to waken, and sometimes they may find them difficult to control. Dressing modestly will help others to control these desires, while dressing suggestively and engaging in flirtation can unnecessarily excite a person of the opposite sex. When you belong to Christ, you will not willingly become a stumbling block to another person's salvation. You will find your self-worth anchored in being a child of the King rather than through gaining the attention and acceptance of other people.
12. Discuss scriptural guidelines that will help you cope with your sexuality and keep your thoughts-life clean. Discuss intelligently the "dos and don'ts" of dating.
|Philippians 4:8 (World English Bible)|
|Finally, brothers, whatever things are true, whatever things are honorable, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report; if there is any virtue, and if there is any praise, think about these things.|
The longer one thinks about sinful things, the more likely that person is to engage in that activity. Philippians 4:8 recommends against impure thoughts.
|Exodus 20:14 (World English Bible)|
|You shall not commit adultery.|
|1 Corinthians 6:9, 10 (World English Bible)|
|Or don’t you know that the unrighteous will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t be deceived. Neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor male prostitutes, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor slanderers, nor extortioners, will inherit the Kingdom of God.|
Adultery and sexual immorality are any sexual activities that take place outside the marriage.
|Matthew 5:27,28 (World English Bible)|
|"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.|
This text tells us that adultery is a sin that a person can commit in private. Do not entertain ideas of sexual immorality, even in your own private thoughts.
When inviting a person on a date, it is better to immediately reveal what you have in mind rather than asking if the person is busy. Asking if the person is busy may cause them to feel cornered. After admitting that they are not busy, they will feel trapped if they do not like the plans you are proposing.
Make sure you go to the door when you arrive. It is rude to stay in the car and honk the horn, Honking the horn will also disturb the neighbors. If invited inside to meet the parents, do so as pleasantly as you can.
Do not attempt to get your date to do anything you know violates either his/her or your own sense of morality. Pay attention to your date during your time together. It is rude to invite someone on a date and then spend most of your time together focusing on someone else (of either sex). It goes without saying that you should never flirt with someone else during the date.
When the date is concluded, escort your date back to the front door. Don't just dump her out of the car at the curb. Make sure you return home at the appointed time. Doing otherwise will make you look bad to your date's parents, and may get your date into trouble. This will not reflect well on you.
14. Know the rules of table etiquette which make it easier for you and those around you, such as what to do with your knife and fork after using them. Know how to be a welcome dinner guest and a joy to your hosts.
Table manners are the etiquette used when eating. This includes the appropriate use of utensils. Different cultures have different standards for table manners. Many table manners developed out of practicality. For example, it is generally impolite to put elbows on tables since doing so creates a risk of tipping over bowls and cups. Within different families or groups, there may be less rigorous enforcement of some traditional table manners of their culture while still maintaining others. For example, some families ignore elbows on the table or mixing of foods.
- Bread plates are to the left of the main plate, beverage glasses are to the right.
- Salad fork, knife and soup spoon are further from the main plate than the main course knife, fork and spoon. Dessert utensils are either placed above the main plate or served with dessert.
- The sharp edge of the knife blade faces the plate.
- Chew with your mouth closed.
- Do not talk at an excessively loud volume.
- Refrain from coughing, sneezing or blowing nose at the table.
- Never tilt back your chair while at the table, or at any other time.
- Do not make unbecoming noises while eating.
- Do not play with food or table utensils.
- Do not single out or chastise someone who has shown poor table manners.
- Do not put your elbows on the table or slouch. It is acceptable, however, to rest forearms, up to the elbow, on the table.
- Always ask the host or hostess to be excused before leaving the table.
- Do not stare at anyone while he or she is eating.
- Never talk on your phone at the table. If urgent, ask host or hostess to be excused, and go outside. Apologize after returning.
- Do not eat food with your fingers unless you are eating foods customarily eaten with fingers, such as bread, French fries, chicken wings, pizza, etc. At more formal occasions, it is acceptable to eat asparagus or some romaine lettuce dishes with ones hands. However, as this is an obscure etiquette rule, in more casual settings, it is customary to use utensils.
- The fork may be used either in the American (use the fork in your left hand while cutting; switch to right hand to pick up and eat a piece) or the Continental (fork remains in the left hand) fashion -- either is now acceptable.
- The fork is used to convey any solid food to the mouth.
- The knife blade should be placed on the edge of your plate when not in use. The blade should always face inward.
- When you have finished eating soup, the spoon should be placed to the side of the saucer, not left in the bowl.
- Keep your napkin on your lap. At more formal occasions all diners will wait to place their napkins on their laps until the host or hostess places his or her napkin on his or her lap.
- When eating barbecue or some other messy foods, a 'bib' napkin may be provided for and used by adults. Usually these foods are also eaten by hand, and wet wipes or paper napkins should be used to clean the hands.
- When using paper napkins, never ball them up or allow stains to show.
- Use your silverware from the outside moving inward toward the main plate. (Salad fork, knife and soup spoon are further from the main plate than the main course knife, fork and spoon. Dessert utensils are either placed above the main plate or served with dessert.)
- A prayer or 'blessing' may be customary in some families, and the guests should join in even if they are not religious or do not follow the same religion. Most prayers are made by the host before the meal is eaten. Instead or in addition, a 'toast' may be offered.
- Do not start eating until (a) every person is served or (b) those who have not been served request that you begin without waiting. At more formal occasions all diners will wait to begin until the hostess or host lifts a fork or spoon.
- When a dish is presented 'family style', the food is served to one's plate and then passed on to the next person. Put the food on your left, take some and pass to the person next to you.
- When serving, serve from the left and pick up the dish from the right. Beverages are both served and removed from the right.
- Eat soup noiselessly and with the side of the spoon.
- Hot drinks should never be poured into the saucer to cool but should be sipped from the cup. Alternatively, ice may be used to cool them.
- Seasoning one's meal prior to tasting can be considered rude and may insult the chef.
At the end of the meal
- It is acceptable in most places to not finish all of the food on your plate.
- When finished with your meal, place your knife and fork with handles at the 4 o'clock position and the tines of the fork down to signal to the server you are done.
- Except in a public restaurant, do not ask to take some of your uneaten food away from the meal after it ends, and never when attending a formal dinner.
Complete Explorer requirements.
You must complete the requirements listed above this one on the current page.
Complete the Christian Grooming and Manners Honor, if not previously earned.
This Wiki has a page with instructions and tips for earning the Christian Grooming & Manners honor.